No matter how smoothly your business is running, you will eventually have complaints or conflicts of some kind — either with a customer or a coworker. Conflict is not about who is right or wrong; it's about how you react to and handle the problem.

The method for reducing these potentially explosive situations is the same, no matter who is involved.

The L.A.F method for handling conflict involves three steps: Listen, Apologize or Acknowledge, and Fix!

Listening is a three-step process that starts, logically, with hearing. But hearing, alone, is not listening. Add understanding to hearing and attention, and the result is true listening.

This in-depth listening can disarm an angry person because it makes him or her feel important and special. But it's not easy. Here are some tips.

• Take the complaint seriously, but not personally, by concentrating on the message, not the anger.

• Show empathy by using phrases such as “I understand,” “I'm sorry,” or “I can appreciate how you feel.” To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart!

• Don't interrupt. Allow the angry person to “get it all out.”

• Paraphrase what you hear to ensure that you understand what the person is actually saying.

• Be calm. This takes great effort as we tend to react to another person's anger.

• Avoid statements beginning with “you” because this will cause the angry person to become defensive.

• Start your response with the word “yes,” such as “Yes, I'm sure we can help you.”

• Before you speak, consider the “grandma” test. Would you speak to your grandma the way you speak to an angry customer or coworker?

Service means not always having to say you're sorry. You have to judge the situation to determine which course of action to take. If the problem is due to a misunderstanding on the part of the customer, simply acknowledge the problem with statements such as “I can appreciate what you're saying” or “I can see why you'd be upset.”

If the problem is something you or the company caused, be quick to apologize. It is possible to apologize without accepting blame. Use statements such as “I apologize for the problem,” “I'm sorry this happened to you” or “I am sorry you're upset.”

Customers don't want to hear excuses about why something happened. They want to hear that you care about them personally and understand their concerns, and they want to know what you are going to do about the problem right now!

Fixing the problem can take many different forms, but the basics are to say what you'll do and do what you say.

To begin fixing the problem, be sure you fully understand the trouble and what caused it. It usually is not important to the customer who caused the problem as long as it is solved. Discuss solutions to develop one that adequately solves the problem. Take whatever steps are necessary, then always call to follow up on the solution.

It takes much less effort to prevent problems than it does to solve them. So write a Problem Prevention Policy that includes these items:

• Maintain open communication.

• Surprise your customer by underpromising and overdelivering.

• Anticipate your customer's needs.

• Do it right the first time.

Customize your customer-handling techniques. Not all customers require the same methods or extent of “touch,” so handle every case on an individual basis.

Remember, it takes 12 positive actions to counteract one negative action. So use the tips in this article, and L.A.F. your way to happy customers!

June Van Klaveren, Compelling Communications Inc., offers marketing and customer service to help her customers attract more clients. She can be reached at 800/779-0067 or through the Web site www.compelcom.com.

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